Can there ever be too much summer? Even though the calendar says we have until later in the month, the start of September always feels like the end. We’d like a little more, but seasonal cycles prevail and the world returns to its regularly scheduled program.
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Sometimes, though, it can be tough. There is such a looseness to summer. Lengthy days, languid weather, a longer tether to normal routines.

Maybe there can be too much summer. We say we need to get “back in the swing” or “refocused”. We have to “regroup”. September feels like the right time to do so, but we feel scattered and untethered. Now, where was I???

Does this resonate with you? If so, perhaps summer has pulled you out of flow.

Flow, that hum deep in our bodies when we are in connected to what makes us come alive. Just like the stream that moves unimpeded, steadily, from its source.  It is a meeting of your life forces that can propel you toward the manifestation of what is most important to you.

This manifestation doesn’t need to be world altering, but it does need to have meaning for you. When you step into this flow, you allow your own life to be altered.

What is most important to you as you move forward into this new season?

It’s not just summer that pulls us out of flow. Life offers many distractions and externally imposed changes. When you feel detached to the important and are just running in circles with the urgent, your initial response may be to just stop everything. However, when you recognize that feeling, it might not be the best time to do nothing.

What generates flow and that lovely hum? How do you get reconnected to your purpose?

Here are five suggestions to help you ease into flow:

1. Check in with yourself and the activity or focus to which you want to reconnect. Make sure that it’s connected to meaning. We’re not talking about the car pool or leaf raking, but rather that something that makes your heart sing. That something that is on purpose and deserves your flow. Meditation, journaling and or small questions can help you with that deep knowing.
2. Physical movement- Get out of your head (and your chair) and into your body. Autumn (or spring in the southern hemisphere) weather is much friendlier for walking and gardening. Or, it could be cleaning out a closet or taking a shower. While you are in your body, the bits and pieces of fractured thought begin to coalesce. Ideas form, aha moments arise. The bigger picture may begin to emerge and show you to your next small step. And your next small step is all you really need to know to move you into momentum and flow.
3. Intentional exploration – Rather than go down the rabbit hole of the next great idea (and the next and the next), consider taking one idea through to an action step. Continue with it even though you’re not sure how it will pan out. Let each step determine the next. Be okay with what might feel like failure. Failure is necessary for all creative acts. In the words of Samuel Beckett: “Fail, fail again, fail better.” Stay with an idea until you’ve exhausted it, beyond the point where it is hard or something else catches your eye. It may have so much more to tell you. The act of continuing can produce a flow.
4. Mindful pauses – Instead of stopping because you’ve hit the proverbial wall, make an active decision to pause. During that pause let your ideas and thoughts go off on their own. Choose other activities that stimulate you. Come back to your idea refreshed.
5. Seek like-minded people – So much creative work - business, writing, art… all the work that connects to your essential self and provides a beautiful flow - is done alone. When you connect to others who are also called to express their passions, you will find a new energy. They will feed your idea, keep you accountable, be a sounding board and a witness to your work. They will accompany you out of your head and into action.

Do you need help with this? Some of us just need a nudge; some a witness. Others need a guide. Which are you? Contact me to learn how I can help.

Just be.

Oh, boy. That can still be a hard one for me. How about you?

When I was first confronted with the challenge of “just being” I was very apprehensive. I was going off on a weekend retreat at the beach with two writing buddies. We were going to write and be quiet and “just be.”

“I don’t know if I can do that”, I told my friends. “It feels really hard to not be doing.” A weekend that should have been the ultimate in relaxation was becoming fraught with anxiety.

They indulged me. You see, they were a lot further along in their being-ness. An ad for a local coffee shop lightened things up by inspiring the alternative of just “beaning”. That, in turn, christened us “Beaners.” Aah, okay, much easier. I could work with that.

Years later we continue to riff on "beaning" and have fun with it. I, in turn, am much more in tune with the need to “just be”. I’m not always great at it, but my anxiety has lessened.

Productivity. Really?

My discomfort stemmed from a belief that I needed to be productive. Constantly. I know how unrealistic this is. At least my head does. However, somewhere in my vast unconscious, this idea has taken up residence and thrived.

I came to understand that my idea of productivity might be a little skewed. Multitasking and buzzing around is not always the best use of my time. Ping-ponging between different to-dos in different categories leaves me exhausted and feeling that I’ve haven’t gotten enough done. I gave this mistaken definition of productivity its eviction notice.

That space is now occupied by the gentle understanding that being on a walk or being with a thought or being fully with my husband or family gifts me with spaciousness. Ideas arrive, as if on wings. Thoughts are completed. The creative process flows with ease. That is a style of productivity that, while initially counter-intuitive to me, is much more desirable.

I love this quote by Kafka:  

What would you have “rolling in ecstasy at your feet?” “Do not even listen”, he advises. He, too, is saying ignore the imperious voice. When we do that we move out of our head and into our wisdom.

How can I do this, you ask, in this fast-paced crazy world we live in? I don’t have time to just sit and wait.

I hear ya!

But, here is what I have discovered:

• Just being aware of the fact that it was difficult to sit quietly and be still created a shift for me. I was no longer on auto-pilot. I realized that there could be a different way of being.
• Daydreaming is productive. Who knew! What I like to call wool-gathering was actually a moment of quiet discovery. I began to notice where I was going. Now, if I find myself staring into that mid-distance, I allow it. At the same time, I'm curious about what’s going through my mind. I listen. (Apologies to Kafka)
• Just 3 minutes of meditation is super beneficial. Just one example of the benefits I  experienced: I had never quite grasped just how impatient I was. Meditation showed me. It also lowered it. When I return to meditation after a lapse, I see it again. I know now that it will dissipate. And, yes, 3 minutes is a reasonable way to start. How long does it take a kettle to boil or a pot of coffee to brew? There you go!
• Practicing quiet opens up a portal from which my inner wisdom flows. Now, if you’re anything like me, your head is a veritable circus. Sometimes, it’s a great place to be with thoughts and ideas careering about. But, that’s not where our true wisdom resides. It lives in the space between the thoughts. For that we need quiet.
• Finally, I have found that curiosity is essential. While that might put me back into my head, it carries no judgement. It provides an opening to what my true self needs at that moment.

Your challenge:

Claim small moments of just being.

Tell that voice to be quiet.

Be curious about what shows up.

Accept, without judgement, the offerings of the world.

Watch them "roll in ecstasy at your feet".

​Can you just be? Or, maybe, just bean.

What's your story? Need help with editing? Contact me to see how we can begin a re-write.

My niece, Olivia, is a brand, spanking new, science teacher. (That is oversimplifying the brilliant young woman she is. She is chronicling her first year as a resident teacher here.) At her graduation party she started telling us about some chemistry thing where stuff adheres to other stuff. The word “chelate” came up. My brain began to get tangled. I said, “Tell me why I should care.”

She proceeded to tell us a story about arsenic and how understanding its chemical properties got a murder charge dismissed for a woman who had spent 17 years in jail.

​Oh.

Now I get it.

It makes sense.

I care.

Story brings facts and ideas to life. It organizes thoughts and makes them accessible. It translates theory into reality. It can deliver the satisfaction of understanding, even if the facts are not pleasant. It can connect us to our own truth.
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Our Story
We all live from a story. That story has either been created by us or given to us. Either way, if you fail to connect with and evaluate that story, it can be an uneasy fit. If it's not the right story, your actions will be out of kilter. You'll get lost. You'll end up going through life acting out someone else's story. 

What’s your story, morning glory?

Is it the story you want to be telling? Living? Especially as you move into and through your second half of life?

Hey, life is too short to be in the wrong story.

Pull out your editing tools.

Editing
When I write, I edit to strengthen the narrative. I want to make it more compelling and genuine. I cut out what’s not working and insert what does work. I try to not write around things or embellish. I want it tight and true.

Does it flow? Does it make sense. Is it grammatically correct. Does it move forward a premise or plot?

Or, does it lose the reader (and the author!) in a disorganized ramble? Where the heck is this thing going? It makes no sense!

It’s the same thing with your story.
​

Do you find yourself waiting for the time to be just right before you can get to that project or pursuit that you enjoy? You’re not alone. Oh, sure, you do the urgent things. You put out fires and do the laundry. You tend to work and family.

The question is not whether or not you will do what you have to do and what others expect. 

​The real question is whether you will listen to what your heart is whispering and do those things that are important but maybe not urgent. Those things that feed your soul. The things that you’ve been saving for a vacation day, a quiet time, retirement, another day, another life. The things that, in the doing, help you grow and learn and create a satisfying life – your best life.

Here’s the reality:

The time will never be perfect.

There will always be one more meeting to attend, carpool to drive, project to complete, errand to run.

Your calendar will rarely show glorious white space.

Your deck will never be totally clear.

Your ducks will probably never be in a row.

What. To. Do!?

Nike says “just do it”. We know that’s not always easy. There are years of habit that have trained us to do everything else first.

In the midst of the chaos and the heartaches of everyday living, where can you begin to live your best life?

Some ideas to consider.

• Cultivate minutes. They add up quickly. They build momentum. You only need a few minutes to start. If you had all the time in the world, what would you do? What is the tiniest first step you can take? Thinking about where to start is a perfect first step. It’s also very kaizen. Here’s a blog post that discusses the idea of kaizen.
• Use your calendar. I have actually scheduled blank, “white”, space in my calendar. Time for thinking or daydreaming or doing no “work”. Time for exercise or writing. I consider these activities essential for my overall well-being. Too often, I allow other things to take precedence. However, if it’s on my calendar I’m more inclined to honor the activity.
• Do you know someone who also has a hard time getting to those soul-goals? Buddy up and keep each other accountable. Join a master mind where you will join others to build a creative oasis, a space to feel inspired and engaged and to take time for yourself.
• Give yourself a permission slip to pick up that sewing project, take that art class, explore a degree, go to a concert, volunteer, work in the garden. Yes, literally, a permission slip just like your mom used to do.

 
Pause for a moment and imagine how it would feel to drop any hesitation and give yourself permission to listen to your heart’s song.

Listening begins with awareness of the fact that there is a voice inside you that speaks from the most honest part of you.

Listening can be as simple as being aware of what thoughts and ideas are bubbling to the surface and not dismissing them.

Listening can be as easy as being curious about what it would be like to follow that train of thought and see where it takes you.

Listening and acting on what you hear is not frivolous. It is essential to a life worth living.
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What song would your heart be singing if you stopped and listened? How will you create the space to get to it?

​#whatsyourstory #thirdage

​In any goal – weight loss, business, writing, clutter clearing or even conscious life design – we would sure like to leap over the bumpy beginning parts and move directly into easy flow. Who wouldn't want to quickly integrate those habits that carry us through to completion and beyond; the good habits that become automatic, parts of our normal routine.
 
Those bumpy beginning parts feel crappy. They are often the obstacles that keeps success at bay. It doesn’t have to be that way.
​

And, there’s always an element of accountability – to yourself, your coach, your fellow circle members – that makes it easier to do the things that will lead to the habit that builds the momentum and powers you toward the finish line.
 
In a Wisdom Circle at The Purple Ink Cafe, we create an environment conducive to progress. It’s a place of readiness and pause in what can often be a hectic life. It's a time and place to get to what is most important rather than just the urgent.
 
You deserve that.

If you are looking at or in the midst of the second half of life, you might be facing some life questions and bumps yourself. Join Kathy Kane and Eileen Caroscio for 4 Tuesdays of Creative Life Design: a Women's Wisdom Circle. You get to tell us your dreams and we get to support you as it comes true.

#whatsyourstory
#thirdage

When I started my business in 2009 I diligently sought out experts who were going to give me the magic wand to get my coaching and writing practice up and running quickly. I took classes, bought books, attended webinars. I watched closely what others were doing, joined groups, went to networking events, approached other women for collaborations.

Some of that worked for me. A lot of it didn’t. I was always trying to put on someone else’s version of “how-to”. It became a lot of “shoulds” and my inner rebel kicked into high gear.

My comparison gremlin would also chime in and point out how everyone else was light years ahead of me. That would lead into another cycle of classes, books, coaches, etc.  (I didn’t realize, and no one pointed out, that in seeing what I perceived as others’ successes I was missing out on their back end work and their learning curve. Why did I think I had to start from 100 mph?)

Learning is good. Experimenting and exploring is good. The missing piece is the pause where we evaluate all the information to sense what feels really right; to check in and see what resonates with our natural skills and personality; to discover where we show up and shine the best.

This is part of the story behind why Your Creative Edge has come into being and is so necessary in the busy, noisy world of business.

Are you a women entrepreneur, a soul-o-preneur, whose offerings come from your heart? Would you like to feel joy in your business? Would you flourish in an environment of learning, reflecting, doing and experimenting, all the while being encouraged and supported to do things your best way? The best way that comes from a place deeper than someone else’s best way.

We know how that feels. That's why we are extending you an invitation to join a small, intimate group of like minded women who will draw out the best in you, listen and reflect back, ask you small questions and encourage you to take small steps. And, you get to do the same for them. As a group you will learn and assimilate information from experts who align with the philosophy of The Purple Ink Cafe. You will experience individual coaching and find dedicated time to hold and share space with the others as you get to your small steps that will lead you into momentum.

Your Creative Edge begins January 31st and runs though November 28th. There is room in the schedule for pause and replenishing. It is spacious and gracious. We invite you to read more about it on our website. And we also invite you to contact us to talk more about it.

Will 2018 be the year you get to offer your gifts from your heart? 

Recently, I was reading a fitness blog. It asked the reader to guess the #1 habit needed to lose weight. Well, who wouldn’t be drawn in? Do you know what it was?
 
Find people to share your journey.
 
While the gist of the article was permanent lifestyle changes, the method of attainment applies universally.
 
The writer spoke of recognizing triggers, remembering to acknowledge successes and “creating a community of consistency”.
 
Let’s look at these ideas through the lens of The Purple Ink Café.
 
Triggers
Triggers are things that initiate a process or reaction. At The Purple Ink Cafe, we look at triggers as prompts that activate thinking and move us in positive directions. They may be small questions, small rewards and/or small steps or leaps. The goal is to find the trigger, or the tool, that overcomes the obstacles that hold us back. This, in turn, leads to sustainable momentum and the desired change.
 
Acknowledging Success
For us it SOP (standard operating procedure) to remind ourselves of what we’ve gotten done. Even those actions that seem so small. If you’re like many of us, you don’t give yourself enough credit for all you do. Taking the time to remember shifts us into success mode. It shines a light on our efforts and our process.

Do I love this world too much?
 
The rising chatter of the birds when the sun is but a thought on the horizon.
 
The rush of fresh morning air as I lean over the kitchen sink, open the window and gulp in the world.
 
The red winged black bird landing delicately on the tip of a cattail.
 
The butterflies dancing and beckoning on the path ahead of me
 
The Joe Pye weed, bursting with clusters of purple flowers that wave from the tips of the tall stems.
 
The mass of wild flowers perfectly arranged and color coordinated by a master designer.
 
Do I love this world enough?
 
Have you ever woken from a daytime dream wondering where you were and how you got there? Not from sleep but from the slumber of the daily grind. Someone has called your name. You pick your head up and find surprise in front of you.
 
I have.
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My eyes startled open and I was gripped by a sense of loss. Years, opportunity, talent. Joy, freedom, enrichment, bird chatter, wildflowers and invigorating morning air.
 
I didn’t stay there. Instead, I began a journey back to myself. Like many personal journeys it wasn’t without obstacles and flying monkeys. I doubted myself, regrouped, whined and gradually forged ahead. For me there was no other way.
 
Many of us have, or will have, this experience as we step into the middle of our life. We never really know when that is. Given longer life expectancies, 50 could very well be the middle. Let’s assume it is. That’s a lot of time to live. It’s also a lot of life to live.
 
Where do you start once you’ve woken up?

Before you brush it all away and continue on with your day, week, life, take a moment to observe. Observe without judgment.
 
Observe your thoughts, your emotions, your responses to your thoughts.
 
Observe, as if you’re watching an interesting and heart-worthy video.
 
Observe, as you might observe a loved one going through these thoughts.
 
Observe with curiosity.
 
Observe with the clear understanding that there is nothing you need to do at the moment.
 
All you need to do is observe.
 
Then, ask yourself a small question. Can you tell me more?
 
If you journal, take the question to the page. When you’re driving or walking or brushing your teeth, ask the question and watch for what comes up.
 
All you need to do initially is to ask and observe. Notice that the journaling, driving, walking and teeth brushing are solitary activities. You don’t need to let anyone in just yet. You are in the waiting stage.
 
When you’re ready, use this exercise to help clear the view in front of your eyes and begin your journey back to yourself. You know more than you think at this point.
 
Set aside 10 minutes. Close the door; turn off your electronics. Take a sheet of paper and make 3 columns.

• In the first column, list all the things you want to do in your life, your bucket list. These things don’t have to be big. They don’t have to be rain forest trips or appearances on Wheel of Fortune. They could be, but I’m encouraging you to think in a more Kaizen-like manner. Small, attainable goals.
• In the second column, note the gist of the argument that pops up in your head when you think of doing this thing. No time, no money, don’t know how, people will think I’m crazy, I’m too old… You know the barriers your ego throws up.
• In the third column (which you could label “oh yeah!”) write a rebuttal to each argument. It could be as short as “oh, yeah!” or it could be framed in the words of a loving, supportive friend.

When you begin this exercise you are taking the first step in a journey. A journey back to yourself. I continue this journey every day as I wake to bird chatter, seek out wild flowers or snowscapes and gulp in fresh morning air. I am gripped by a sense of possibility and let the conversation flow from there. 
​#secondhalfoflife #creativelifedesign

​I’m committed. To writing #my500words a day. For 31 days. I started a few days ago but was feeling waffly. Therefore, I’ve re-committed.

Why am I doing it?
 
Mainly, to develop a habit. I have it on my calendar to remind me in the morning. It’s almost 8 pm but I still had to do this because it was weighing on my mind. I’d prefer to do it early in the morning or earlier in the day. But I’m doing it now because, as I said, it’s on my mind and I’ve committed to developing a writing practice.
 
What will I write?
 
I can free write, use prompts, do business writing, blog posts, work on my book. I had to go back and change “a” to “my” in front of the word book. I’ve been thinking about it and writing it and now I’m announcing it out loud. Yes,I'm writing a book. I will refrain from talking about it at the moment. My goal is to solidify a writing habit that will power the completion of my book. What I won’t do as part of this challenge is to use the 500 words in my journal. That is separate and apart from this.
 
When will I write?
​

Preferably in the morning, at my desk. I’d like to incorporate it into my daily ritual which includes tea, oatmeal, yoga, journal and the previous day’s crossword puzzle. But most of that happens in the kitchen. At my desk I have other resources and notes and prompts and it feels like a more friendly place to play with my writing. However, if my day has a mind of its own and chooses to do other things I may be in the living room as a late dusk darkens the corners, tapping away at my keyboard to satisfy this commitment to write 500 words.
 
How will I write?
 
I will do this writing on my laptop. There are times when I prefer to start on paper but for this challenge I will use the computer. It does give me a word count although that is not my first reason. I know that as I write, I will write more, and as I write more I will be able to go deeper. The writing that comes up may eventually make its way elsewhere and it is easier to copy and paste than to transcribe from my handwritten pages. (Not to mention that I can’t always read my own handwriting!)
 
What will I do with the writing?
 
Some of my writing will become a blog post. Like this. Some will be added to my book. If I’m just playing with story and characters it may go nowhere for now. Some will be for business, either content or writing for clarity. I may write to my beautiful perfect client, asking what she needs and thinking about what I can offer. Things that belong in my personal journal will remain there. That's a private conversation that starts most of my mornings.
 
I know this will get tedious. It will feel hard. I will struggle with what to write and feel that what I write is crap. But I know that a writer is someone who writes. Therefore, if I want to be a writer, I must write. I must write poorly, inanely, sloppily. I must write drivel. I must whine on the page or be soppy. The push through all this muck will be the polish for the words that will eventually come out. They are there. They’ve been waiting patiently. It is time.

To paraphrase Paul Simon, “Words, words, words, see what’s become of me, while I look around for my possibilities”.
 
Why play with words? Why write?
 
Words—thoughts in the head, spoken, written— when strung together become a living entity. They color our world, forge relationships, tear down and mend connections. They help us interpret our world.
 
Why write? Why engage words in an intentional way?
 
For clarity: Writing down the words circling around in our head shines a light on them and shows them in a different way. You don’t have to keep an elaborate journal. However, if there is something gnawing at you; if there is something that is not clear; if there is a decision to be made, try writing it down. Sometimes the simple act of assembling the thoughts and transferring them to the page is all we need for things to become clear.
 
To integrate knowledge: When we want to learn something writing it down or writing about it can make a big impact on our learning process. Once again the process of pulling together the bits and pieces fuses them into an intelligible whole. The words and concepts will begin to make sense.
 
To impart knowledge: Often we need to explain what we know through the written word. Here the ability to toss the words down first and then go back and organize them goes a long way in helping us put together a cohesive piece. It is in the tossing and organizing—allowing for a crappy first draft—that we see the bigger picture come together and our readers receive the biggest benefit.
 
For fun, self-discovery, for pure enjoyment of the creative process, because the words are there. To write for fun, without being wedded to a particular outcome, is a joyful, creative act. To allow story to flow from unplumbed sources is magic. Allowing the pen to take us where it will is an excursion into imagination and bliss.

 “Everyone is a writer. You are a writer. All over the world, in every culture, human beings have carved into stone, written on parchment, birch bark, or scraps of paper and sealed into letters—their words. Those who do not write stories and poems on solid surfaces tell them, sing them and, in so doing, write them on the air.”

So begins Pat Schneider in her book, Writing Alone and With Others.
 
How beautiful is this? And we have the capacity to do it! We have the capacity for gorgeous words and sparkling story. They are all already inside of us. They just need to be teased out, to be set free in our particular style and language. It’s freedom on the page or “on the air”.
 
Come relax into your words at a mini retreat for writers. Yes, that includes you! The Joy of Writing meets from 3-4:30 PM ET 4 Mondays starting March 27th. We gather on Zoom, a free video conference app. See what you can do when you cut loose and approach words with curiosity and wonder. Prepare to be amazed!

For more information and to register click here​.